: Bif : The Naked Truth :

Todd Babiak, Journal Entertainment Writer
    Edmonton Journal
(article thanks to mizz carrie)

  Sunday, September 30, 2001

    Bif Naked

    With: Static in Stereo and LiveonRelease

    Where: Red's

 - - -

    On paper, Bif Naked is the coolest woman in the world. She is a rock 'n'd
    roll singer, an actor, a skateboarder and a snowboarder, a BMX trickster, a
    yoga devotee and a student of the deadly martial art Sun Hang Do. Not to
    mention the tattoos.

    "I am living the dream," she says on the phone from her home in Vancouver.

    "No, actually, no. I couldn't have dreamt it."

    Naked is in Edmonton this weekend to support her latest album, Purge, a
    blend of hard rock, punk and power ballads.

    Though she is one of Canada's hottest acts, Naked is not caught up in rock
    star braggadocio. "There's a misconception about getting famous," she said,
    "that you're automatically a millionaire. If you're in the arts and you're
    successful, it means you're paying the rent and feeding the dogs."

    Her two dogs, Nicholas and Anastasia, are fed regularly. They are only two
    of her small friends. MuchMusic's Ed the Sock is another Naked playmate. "I
    always lick Ed. My mother just gets horrified when I lick him, but I can't
    help it. You know, he's this phallic guy and I like to worship the lingam."

    Anyhoo, tonight she rocks out at an all-ages show at Red's. Last night's
    concert at the same venue was an over-18 event, sponsored by a local
    fraternity. She didn't know about the fraternity connection.

    "A frat? Oh good," she said. "I love college boys. When I go back to
    university, I'm gonna need help with organic chemistry. So if any college
    boys want to help me, that would be great. Keeping in mind that I worship
    the lingam."

    All right, enough about the lingam. Is her Kung Fu the best? "I just got
    into martial arts a few years ago," she said. Her manager is a black belt,
    so she said it all came to her by osmosis.

    "I don't need to be crouching tiger, hidden Biffy, but every female in North
    American society should be able to break a grip."

    Despite her toughness, when I mention that a slow song on Purge called
    Stolen Sidewalk has been popular at junior high school dances in Edmonton,
    she says, "Aaaw, why? That's such a sad song. I can't think of that song
    without crying."

    Strong, sensitive, artistic, sexually provocative around socks. Even modest.
    Are there any flaws in Bif Naked whatsoever?

    "Sometimes I hit my head with nunchuks," she said. "It really makes a ping
    sound."